Текст песни Icp - The Dating Game

Anouncer: Let’s meet contestant number one!
He’s a schitzofrenic serial killer clown, who says
women love his sexy smile. Let’s find out if his
charm will work on Sharon.
Sharon what’s your question?

Sharon: Contestant number one, I believe first impressions
last forever, so let’s say you were to come over to my
parents house and have dinner with me and my family.
Tell me what you’d do to make that first impression really
stick?

Let’s see...hmm...well I’d have to think about it
I might show up in a tux (ha) but I doubt it
I’d probably just show up naked like I always do
And lick your mama in the eye and tell her F*ck you
Hurry up B*tch I’m hungry...I smell spaghetti
I’d pinch her limpy ass and tell her get the food ready
Your dad would probably start trippin’ and get me pissed
I’d have to walk up and bust him in his F*ckin’ lips
It’s dinner time...we’re hearing grace from your mother
I’d pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother
I’m steady staring at your sister, I’ll tell you this
You know for only thirteen, she’s got some big tits
After that, your dad would try to jump again
and only this time I’d put the 40 to his chin
After your mom does the dishes and the silverware
I’d try to f*ck her till’ I nut in my underwear
(hahahahaha)

Anouncer: Now let’s meet contestant number two!
He’s a phsycopathic daranged crack head freak, who works
with a dark carnival. He says women call him strech nuts
Sharon let’s hear your question?

Sharon: I like a man who’s not afraid to show his true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two...If you fell in love with me exactly how would you
let me know?

First thing, I could never love you
You sound like a witchy b*tch yo (f*ck you)
But if I did I’ll probably show you that I care
By taking all these other mother f*ckers out of here
I’d go through your phone book, and wack em’ all
and fight contestant number one and break his f*cken jaw (what)
Anyone who looked at you would have to pay
I’ll be blowing f*cken nuggets off all day
I’d grab your titties, and stretch em’ down past your waist
Let em’ go and watch them both spring up in your face
I’ll sing love songs to you the best I can
Get you naked and hit it like a Cave man!
Then we’d go to the beach and walk through the sand
I’d throw a little in your face and say I’m just playin’
As you spit it all out I rub your back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack
(HAHAHAHAH)

Anouncer: Well it sounds like contestant number two is just over-
flowing with sensitivity Sharon, It’s a tough choice so far
Sharon let’s have your last question and see which one is going
to win the rights to your _____

Sharon: Ok, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me
at the same time, Tell me, how would you each get my attention
and what would your pick up lines be? Whoever’s the smoothest wins

Ok well first I’d slide up to the bar and tell you that I can’t
believe how f*cken fat you are
I’d tell you that I like the way you make you titties shake
And if you lost a little weight you’d look like Ricky Lake
(F*CK THAT) you’d be jacking me quick, I’d order you a drink
and stir it with my Dick, and then to get your attention in the
crowded place I’d simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
(Yeah freak her with your nuts, yeah that’ll get her)
(tell her that she’s fat, yeah that’ll work even better)
Look f*ck you, I gotta strong rep shit you don’t like contestant
number two he’s mad wack, I walk into a bar and there he was
Standing up behind a bucket (HAHAH) tryin ta f*ck it
It was a big f*cken smelly ass farm lama DAMN DAWG! How you gonna diss
your mama ?(HAHAHAHAHAHA)