Текст песни C.W. Mccall - Black Bear Road

(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis)

Me an’ RJ an’ the kids was on a camp-out in the mountains, and
we had us one’a them U-Drive-’Em Army Jeep cars which we rented
from a fella by the name of Kubozke for thirty bucks a day, buy
your gas along the way, take a rabbit’s foot and leave a pint
of blood for a dee-posit.

And he ’splained it all to us how we was supposed to get to Telluride,
which is fifty miles away by way of the regular highway, however,
there was a shortcut but unless we had drove the Black Bear Road
before, we’d better be off to stay, stay in bed and sleep late.
(Pay no attention to the gitar there.)

Well, we took up off’n the highway and we come upon a sign says
"Black Bear Road. You don’t have to be crazy to drive this road,
but it helps." I says, "RJ, this must the shortcut road Kubozke
was talkin’ about." She didn’t pay no mind, ’cause she was makin’
peanut butter sandwiches for the kids in the back seat throwin’
rocks and drinkin’ Kool-Aid and playin’ count-the-license-plates.
But they wasn’t havin’ too much fun a-countin’ license plate
or cars, ’cause there weren’t no other cars.

We went about a mile-and-a-half in about four hours, busted off
the right front fender, tore a hole in the oil pan on a rock
as big as a hall closet. Went over a bump and spilt the Kool-Aid
and Roy Gene stuck his bolo knife right through the convertible
top and the dog threw up all over the back seat. Peanut butter
don’t agree with him, you see.

So we had to stop and take off the top and air everything out
and clean it up. The dog run off and RJ says she felt her asthma
comin’ on. I was sittin’ there wonderin’ what to do when the
en-tire scenic San Joo-wan U-Drive-’Em Army Jeep car sank in
the mud. At thirteen thousand feet above sea level.

Well, we shoveled it out and ate our lunch, the dog made a yellow
hole in the snow and Roy Gene got out his Instamatic and took
a snapshot of it. Mary Elizabeth drawed a picture of the road;
it looked like a whole bunch a’ Zs and Ws all strung together.
And RJ took one look at it and said that the only way that Jeep
car is goin’ down that road is over her dead body. Then a rock
slipped out from under the wheel and the U-Drive-’Em Army Jeep
car went right over the edge of the cliff. Yahoo-oo-oo-oo!

"Doggone-it, Roy Gene! How many times do I have to ’splain it
to you? When I tell you to put a rock under the wheel, I mean
rock! Now look at that, what you have there is no bigger’n a
grapefruit."