Текст песни C.W. Mccall - Classified

(Bill Fries, Chip Davis)

I’s thumbin’ through the want ads in the Shelby County Tribune
when this classified advertisement caught my eye. It said, "Take
imme-di-ate delivery on this ’57 Chevrolet half-ton pickup truck.
Will sell or swap for a hide-a-bed and thirty-five bucks. Call
One-four-oh, ring two, and ask for Bob."

Well, I called Bob up on the telephone, he says, "Hello, this
is Bob speakin’." I says "This here the Bob got the pickup truck
for sale?" He says, "Yeah." I says, "Where are ya?" He says,
"Fourteen east on County 12, turn right on the one-lane gravel
road, you can park in the yard, beware of the dog, wipe your
feet off, knock three times, and bring your billfold."

Well, I tooled on east on County 12, turned right on the one-lane
gravel road, and I parked in the yard and a German shepherd come
out and grabbed onto my leg. Then I knocked three times and wiped
my feet, the dog let go and the screen door opened and Bob come
out and says "Whaddya want?" I says, "Come to see your truck."
He says, "Follow me. Come on, Frank." (Dog’s name is Frank.)

Well, we all went past the chicken house, through the hog pen,
down to the tractor shed, and then wound up in back of the barn
in a field of cowpies. And settin’ right there in a pool of grease
was a half-ton Chevy pickup truck with a 1960 license plate,
a bumper sticker says "Vote for Dick" and Brillo box full of
rusty parts, and Bob says "Whaddya think?".

Well, I kicked the tires and I got in the seat and set on a petrified
apple core and found a bunch of field mice livin’ in the glove
compartment. He says, "Her shaft is bent and her rear end leaks,
you can fix her quick with an oily rag. Use a nail as a starter;
I lost the key. Don’t pay no mind to that whirrin’ sound. She
use a little oil, but outside a’ that, she’s cherry."

I says, "What’ll take?" He says, "What’ve you got?" I says, "Twenty-eight
dollars and fifteen cents." He says, "You got a deal. Sign here,
I’ll go get the title and a can full of gas." I put the nail
in the slot and fired ’er up; she coughed and belched up a bunch
a’ smoke and I backed her right through the hog pen into the
yard.

Well, Frank jumped in and bit my leg and I beat him off with
a crowbar. He jumped on out and the door fell off and the left
front tire went flat. I jacked it up and patched the tube and
Frank tore a piece of my shirt off. Then Bob come out and called
him off and says "You better’d get on out of here."

I went left on the one-lane gravel road, went fourteen west
on County 12. Took two full quarts of forty-weight oil just to
get her to the Conoco station. And I pulled up to the Regular
pump and then Harold Sykes and his kid come out. He says, "I’ve
seen better stuff at junkyards and where’d you ever get that
truck?"

I says, "That’s a long story, Harold. I’s thumbin’ through the
want ads in the Shelby County Tribune when this classified advertisement
caught my eye. It said, "Take imme-di-ate delivery on this ’57
Chevrolet half-ton pickup truck. Will sell or swap for a hide-a-bed
and thirty-five bucks..."